I've Got The Christmas Blues
by BulletsCoffeeFaith
Summary: A missing scene to the "Baby, It's Cold Outside" fic by Cascade Waters, so I suggest reading her/his fic before you read this one. Sam decides to talk to Dean about what happened over fall break, and assures his brother that he wouldn't have come home for Christmas and bothered them all if John hadn't come to Stanford and dragged him away. Dean is less than pleased.


**A/N: This is a little late Christmas fic I wrote, which takes place after Cascade Water's own late Christmas fic "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Reading that first isn't necessary, I suppose, but a good ninety percent of this will make zero sense if you don't, so I suggest going over to her page and reading that before you continue on with this. This is un-beta'd, so please excuse any mistakes.**

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"Dean?"

The eldest Winchester brother looked up at the sound of Sam's voice, floating over from the couch where he'd apparently just now awoken. Everybody else had gone up to their bedrooms in the night – Sam had been sleeping so peacefully, though, that neither John nor Dean had the heart to wake him and send him up to the guest bedroom. Both relief and slight sense of awkwardness welled up in the pit of Dean's gut at the revelation that what had happened over fall break hadn't permanently scared his little brother off from speaking to him.

"Yeah?" Dean questioned as he began to clear cups and blankets from the living room that had been left sitting around from their familial Christmas celebration the night before. He wasn't sure just what he was going to say to his brother. But Sam was talking to him, and that was a start, right? That was better than nothing.

There was a moment of quiet as Sam shifted so that he was sitting upward on the couch, the springs creaking beneath him. Almost immediately, without looking, Dean knew something was up, and began preparing himself for the worst.

Sam had always been a slow waker. He didn't speak at first. He stretched and he yawned and he rubbed at his eyes, then went to use the bathroom and splash cold water on his face, then he had a cup of coffee, and _then_ he was ready to talk. If he was up and talking before any of that shit, it was important...and most likely bad news.

"Yeah. Um..." Sam scratched nervously at the back of his head, looking as though he was wondering where to begin. A light tinge of pink adorned his cheeks as he realized he was holding his brother up, but Dean didn't seem to mind. He slowly set down the few blankets and stack of plastic cups he'd had in his hand, watching Sam through large eyes. One of his eyebrows was cocked questioningly, and the sight of it was so him, just so _Dean_, that Sam almost laughed a little.

_Almost._ Before he remembered that Dean wasn't very happy with his being there for Christmas in the first place. If he didn't want John to stop calling him or speaking with him, not pissing of his brothers – or Kate, for that matter – was a good idea.

"I just, uh...I wanted to say that I get it...you know?" Sam gave a dry, humorless huff and cleared his throat. "That you don't want me around, after fall break and everything. It makes sense. It really does. But I...I, um, just wanna thank you. For letting me stay yesterday. It really meant a lot to Dad." Sam didn't dare look up at his brother, terrified of the disappointment and possibly anger he would see on Dean's face. It was one thing to feel it, but seeing it would make it all too real. "And you don't have to put up with me anymore. Unless, of course, ya know, Dad comes and drags me back again. But even then, we don't have to talk. I just...I wanted to let you know that it's fine, man. I get it. So don't feel obliged to do or say anything just 'cause Dad's too blind to see that I'm just fucking shit up for you guys. You know? It's fine."

Dean had been completely still and silent for the whole of Sam's speech, and Sam still refused to lift his head. For a moment, he feared that Dean had left the room before he was done speaking, too disgusted by his brother to want anything to do with him. The thought sent a pang through his chest.

_It's not like you don't deserve it..._

Damn, but it hurt.

Just as he was about to turn and head toward the bathroom, wanting to grab a quick shower before he packed his things and headed back out again (best to leave before his Dad woke up and stopped him) Sam felt a flaring pain in one of his shoulders. It took him a moment to register the fact that somebody had grabbed him and slammed him rather forcefully against the living room wall.

"What the fuck, Sam?" Dean's voice hissed.

Well, _now_ he lifted his head.

Dean's face was red and livid, right up close in Sam's, fury and rage seeping through and sending a jolt of electrified fear through his older brother. He'd been afraid of this. Dean had every right to hit him, of course, but he fucking _hated_ it when Dean made their fights physical. It made all their petty little verbal arguments look like a nice Sunday afternoon chat over tea.

But no fists came swinging. No pain other than the new bruise in his shoulder was felt. And as the initial anger began to fade, Sam saw another emotion on his older brother's face; but this one made no sense at all. Concern and sadness were beginning to bleed through, along with a strong, heavy serving of guilt. His grip on Sam's shoulders lightened to the point where he wasn't hurting the kid, but nowhere even near loose enough to let him go.

"Why the hell would you say that, Sam?" Dean asked, voice softer now but still firm and demanding. "Fuck, Sam, of _course_ I want you around. Why would you say something like that? How..." he paused, shaking his head sadly. "How could you even _think_ that? You're my fucking _little brother_, Sam. I'm supposed to get royally pissed at you. If you haven't noticed, that's sort of how brotherhood works."

Sam swallowed back the lump of emotion that was welling in his throat; he wasn't sure whether or not his brother meant it, or if he was _still_ going at it for the sake of his real family, but the look in his eyes suggested the former.

"Look, Sam...it's _fine_, alright? Fall break was months ago. Stop shitting yourself over it, dude. If Adam's bein' a bitch, then tell him to go fuck himself, dude, he's a seventeen year old boy. It's sort of in a little brother's nature, driving his big brother insane."

There was a moment of silence. Dean released Sam's shoulders, trying to ignore the way the kid was swallowing repeatedly against the way his eyes were beginning to water.

"Thanks," he breathed after a while, clearing his throat, still leaning back against the wall. "I just thought...thought after all that, you wouldn't want me ruining Christmas, too, you know? Especially not Christmas. But...thanks for that."

"You didn't ruin anything," Dean pointed out once more. "Honestly, dude? Thanksgiving was cool, but it felt so damn _weird_ with that one empty seat. You _are_ a part of the family. Going to college doesn't change that."

Sam nodded numbly, still in slight shock. The thought that Dean really _did_ want him around, let alone the fact that he was saying it of his own free will, was like being crushed by an overwhelming sense of relief. Despite the pain he now felt in his right shoulder, they felt considerably lighter, as if a huge weight had been lifted away. It was something he hadn't felt since before he broke the news to his family that he'd received a full Stanford scholarship, and _damn_, did it feel good.

"Dad was pretty upset, you know," Dean told him suddenly. Sam looked at him in surprise. "He told me about what you said and all that. When you said you didn't get why he wanted to bring you home for Christmas...really hit a nerve, you know?" Dean gave an awkward. "That one of his kids thought he was unwanted. Must have hurt like hell...so...don't do that to us again, okay? Don't do that to me. Next holiday break, dude, just come home. Don't even have to call first. Just...come home."

"I'll screw something up again," Sam said slowly, hesitantly, as if he was trying to tell Dean that he was making the wrong decision.

"You won't," Dean insisted, then suddenly, a large smirk stretched over his face. "You're the super-smart-ass college geek, remember? You're too friggin' smart to screw anything up."

Sam laughed – a real laugh, not a fake laugh that he forced out to make their father happy – and Dean could have started jumping up and down right there, it was such an awesome sound.

"Fine," he said quietly, now looking quite cheerful opposed to the depressed expression he'd worn as he spoke to Dean. "Hey, um...do we have any hot chocolate left?" That goofy smile he'd missed so much spread over the kid's face, and Dean couldn't help it.

He smiled, too.

_~fin~_

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**A/N: So, how did I do? I've never written a fanfiction that was a sequel to somebody else's fanfiction before, and I was a little skeptical about how it would turn out. It isn't my best piece, but I have to admit, it isn't all _that_ bad. Not as bad as I'd anticipated, at least.**

**For those of who are waiting on an update for Back In Black; I'm sorry it's taking so long! I'm about halfway done with writing the sixth chapter, and I'm really trying to get it done, but I've just been so busy lately. I have play auditions tomorrow afternoon (or I guess I should say this afternoon, since it's three in the morning...) and when I have something big coming up the next day it's like I'm not tired at all – then the next day I'm dead on my feet. I also have an all-day choir festival on Friday, but once that's over, I have no plans for a couple weeks, so hopefully I'll have some more time to work on updating.**

**I also thought I'd let you guys now; I've recently created my first website – a review blog. Meaning I review books, movies, TV shows, etc. to tell people what I think of them. I'm going to be reviewing every new Supernatural episode from now on, as long as a lot of other shows, movies, books, and musical artists/songs. I would really, REALLY appreciate it if you guys could check out the website (link should be at the top of my profile – if not, wait a few hours, because I just added it) and make an account so you can comment on the blog posts and keep up with new reviews. Yes, I use an alias on the blog, by the way, as I don't feel very comfortable giving out my real name.**

**Hope you guys liked the story, and thank you if you took the time to read this author's note and check out my site!**


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